Yet Another Dot-Com Crumudgeon
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Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Souljacker" journal:
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09:29 pm
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Well I know my name is Souljacker, and I like to do drawrings..
Thousands of years ago in my college days, I enrolled in a drawing class. "Sure I suck at drawing", I thought, "but it should be an easy good grade to boost my crappy GPA and besides, maybe someday I can fake having some artistic talent".
How completly and utterly wrong I was.
Turns out that with a bit of practice, I didn't totally suck at drawing. What I figured was going to be a blow off course turned out to take up more of my time than the programming and math courses. Not because I had to spend the time on it, but because I wanted to. I found a niche in drawing off of images. Now, true artists are probably scoffing at me but I don't care. The results were, to me, incredible.
There's a couple of photoshopped images I drew which no longer exist outside of my work, but here's a couple of source images I used the yielded fantastic results:
This is an image of the American nuclear test Desert Rock VI of the Teapot series from 1955. The professor's reaction to this was literally awe. Here was a struggling student who'd suddenly and quite unexpectedly found his groove. CS MAJOR COMES OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE!
I remember the conversation like it was yesterday, or maybe at least a few months ago:
"Wow."
"That bad?"
"No, this is.. wow. This is really good. How long did you spend on this?"
"Pretty much all week." (lie, more like ten hours)
"This is just amazing. Do you mind if I show this to my classes at ISU and the penitentiary?"
"Not at all."
I never saw that drawing again. I have half a mind to track him down and try to get it back.
This was my masterpiece. Do you know how hard it is the draw translucency? I want this back too so I can frame it, but fortunanly it's in captivity somewhere in my parent's attic.
But to make a long story short (too late), I went out tonight and dropped the princely sum of $15 on drawing materials.
Why?
Because I'm committing slow motion suicide. I need a hobby outside of video games and following political news, the latter of which invarably leads to heavy, HEAVY drinking.
Speaking of which, did I mention politics? Because that must mean it's time for the LIEberal media rodeo!
CNN: Your next door neighbor wants to kill you and rape your children.*
MSNBC: Imelda Marcos is a corrupt liberal who belived in trickle down economics*. We'll explain how much of corrupt liberal she was after this!
Fox: Why is it that liberal media simply cannot stop hammering away on the Valerie Plame case? No one in the White House is guilty, except for MAYBE an overzelous staffer who only got their information from the liberal media. Is the ACLU behind this? But first, our recent polling shows that Katie Aruba's mother is the greatest American woman of all time! (They're not kidding: http://www2.foxnews.com/polls/poll_results/bg_results_ontherecord.jpg__basic_1296.htm)*
*See the part where I talked about drinking.
Truthseekers, have I mentioned tonight how much I hate these people? They're killing me and they're killing America.
And as a resolution to my drawing story, I got a B+ in the class. I couldn't really do "snap" drawings of people or still lifes well.
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03:30 am
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"All I can say is to fight like hell"
Here's my national anthem:
It's coming through a hole in the air,
from those nights in Tianamen Square.
It's coming from the feeling
that it ain't exactly real,
or it's real, but it ain't exactly there.
From the wars against disorder,
from the sirens night and day,
from the fires of the homeless,
from the ashes of the gay.
Democracy is coming to the USA.
It's coming through a crack in the wall,
on a visionary flood of alcohol,
from the staggering account
of the Sermon on the Mount
which I don't pretend to understand at all.
It's coming from the silence
on the dock of the bay,
from the brave, the bold, the battered
heart of Chevrolet.
Democracy is coming to the USA.
It's coming from the sorrow on the street
the holy places where the races meet
from the homicidal bitchin'
that goes down in every kitchen
to determine who will serve and who will eat.
From the wells of disappointment
where the women kneel to pray
for the grace of god in the desert here
and the desert far away:
Democracy is coming to the USA.
Sail on, sail on
O mighty Ship of State!
To the Shores of Need
Past the Reefs of Greed
Through the Squalls of Hate
Sail on, sail on, sail on...
It's coming to America first,
the cradle of the best and the worst.
It's here they got the range
and the machinery for change
and it's here they got the spiritual thirst.
It's here the family's broken
and it's here the lonely say
that the heart has got to open
in a fundamental way:
Democracy is coming to the USA.
It's coming from the women and the men.
O baby, we'll be making love again.
We'll be going down so deep
that the river's going to weep,
and the mountain's going to shout Amen!
It's comming to the tidal flood
beneath the lunar sway,
imperial, mysterious
in amorous array:
Democracy is coming to the USA.
Sail on, sail on
O mighty Ship of State!
To the Shores of Need
Past the Reefs of Greed
Through the Squalls of Hate
Sail on, sail on, sail on...
I'm sentimental if you know what I mean:
I love the country but I can't stand the scene.
And I'm neither left or right
I'm just staying home tonight,
getting lost in that hopeless little screen.
But I'm stubborn as those garbage bags
that Time cannot decay.
I'm junk but I'm still holding up
this little wild boquet:
Democracy is coming to the USA.
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08:40 pm
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how does th
While doing a number of things tonight, I came across a job posting from a well known company for a Software Engineer. Part of the job description was: "Participates in definition of the requirements of a system including the functional and non-functional requirements."
 WHERE DO I SIGN UP, GOOD SIRE?
And now it's time for tonight's Extremist Liberal Media Rodeo!
CNN: Did the Supreme Court decision regarding the 10 (ten) commandments at long last relieve us of the tyranny of Roe vs. Wade? But first, attractive white girl still missing in Aruba!
MSNBC: Known liberal Robert Redford questioned the Lord Emperor and hates America. Up next, is the new book about Hillary Clinton completely true or just mostly true?
Fox: The recent increase in gas prices are completely the fault of liberals, who are now enacting an extensive plot to get Hillary Clinton elected president in 2008. Up next, girl bites shark. Shark bites girl. WHO WILL WIN THIS CLASH OF THE TITANS?
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12:50 am
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Trip Report: KIND-KDTW-KATL-KMEM-KIND
( Souljacker's Guide to What's Worth Knowing has this to say about things one might encounter on such an adventure: )
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12:56 am
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Now Departing Bat Country
In the end the only thing that could kill you was you. Rest in peace, you crazy fuck..
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11:13 pm
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oh hay guys
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11:37 pm
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Now This is the Sort of Project I Can Get Behind!
Nothin' says lovin' like a failure in the ignition sequence of the.. ROOOCKET.
I appreciate how difficult orbital ballistics are, but I must LOL. I type this as I am indeed laughing out loud as opposed to reacting to someone sharing that they just saw the latest Winnie the Pooh movie and now have to update their Christmas decor:
A spokesman for the agency, Rick Lehner, said the early indications was that there was a malfunction with the ground support equipment at the test range on Kwajalein Island, not with the interceptor missile itself.
If verified, that would be a relief for program officials because it would mean no new problems had been discovered with the missile. This is now the second time in the past four weeks there's been a problem with "ground support" in this now OPERATIONAL system.
 Hey kids! Failure is A-OK so long as no new faults are exposed! Raises all around!
I can't wait to see how they deal with dummies, booster packs, targets without NAV/GPS beacons, EMP, and cooled warheads.
And why do I suddenly feel like an Ed Teller or Dr. Strangelove?
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03:37 pm
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Your Fair Warning
The next person to leave me a voice mail in the following format:
"Hello this is dragnafagn and
I'm calling in regards to (insert something very important here). Now
I'm going to ramble for at least the next 60-80 seconds about nothing. myphnenumberisgararbalasaplzcllbackasapthx."
..is going to get a sock in the eye by your's truly.
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07:29 pm
[Link] | Remember what I just said about being an internet nerd? Forget it. In my quest to bring even more crude animated gifs of unicorns to LiveJournal I've done gone and messed up my look and feel.
The bright side is at least I got it to stop being various shades of pink and purple.
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06:48 pm
[Link] | So, it's come to my attention that incoherent, sarcastic, cynical INTERNET NERD RAGE humor is really only funny to incoherent, sarcastic, cynical internet nerds like myself. To everyone else, it's scary and confusing. Therefore in the interest of giving everyone a fair shake, here's a joke we can ALL not laugh at:
What do fish say when they swim into concrete walls?
"Dam!"
Current Mood:  embarrassed
Current Music: The purr of a Boeing 752 2000 feet over my head
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09:44 pm
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This is the Story of How We Begin to Remember
oh hay guys we have this livejournal here is the best website goatse lol
Why have things gotten worse since around the time of my last post?
Eschew the commentary. Maintain your priorities. Smile at the iceberg, it's yours. You're gonna own it.
Current Mood:  contemplative
Current Music: The Temptations - Ball of Confusion
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06:59 pm
[Link] | This is the story of how we begin to remember.
Current Mood:  listless
Current Music: Eels - The Sound of Fear
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souljacker's journal